5 Sex Toy Mistakes You Might Be Making (and What to Do Instead)

Sex toys can be a great addition to your solo or partnered sex life, helping you to vary things up, explore new sensations, and enhance your pleasure. But the world of sex toys is vast, and there is a lot of misinformation out there. This means that many people are making mistakes which can ruin their experience, put them off using toys in the future, or even be dangerous. 

So what are five of the most common sex toy mistakes you should avoid, and what can you do instead? 

Mistake #1: Choosing Unsafe Materials

Here’s a scary fact: when it comes to consumer safety, the sex toy industry is almost entirely unregulated. This means that manufacturers can sell unsafe products and even get away with lying about what their toys are made of. It takes a little knowledge and savvy shopping to make sure you are choosing safe sex toys. 

Avoid toys made of jelly, rubber, PVC, latex, and vinyl. These materials often contain dangerous chemicals called phthalates, which have been the subject of major public health concern. They can break down, leaching toxic substances into your body or even causing chemical burns on your genitals. These materials are also porous, meaning that they will harbor bacteria and are impossible to get properly clean. 

Some soft plastics such as thermoplastic elastomer and thermoplastic rubber (TPE and TPR), as well as “real-feel” materials such as Cyberskin, don’t usually contain phthalates but are still porous. These materials are low-risk for external toys such as penis strokers, but shouldn’t be used internally. 

Stick to body-safe and preferably non-porous materials such as 100% silicone, ABS hard plastic, stainless steel, aluminum, annealed glass, ceramic (if glazed and kiln-fired), and wood (if sealed with a body-safe glaze.) 

Mistake #2: Not Cleaning Your Toys Correctly (or Often Enough) 

How often do you clean your sex toys? If your answer wasn’t “between every use,” you’re probably not cleaning them often enough. 

Even if you are the only person using the toy, you really need to clean it after every single use. Otherwise, you risk unpleasant health issues such as bacterial vaginosis (BV), yeast infections, and urinary tract infections (UTIs.)

Most toys can be cleaned with warm water and antibacterial soap, though this may not be enough to truly sterilize them. Some can be sterilized by boiling, putting them in the top rack of the dishwasher (maybe warn your roommate first!), or using a sterile wipe to kill any germs. Always rinse and dry your toy thoroughly after cleaning. 

Mistake #3: Not Using Lubricant (or Using the Wrong Lubricant)

If there is one addition that can make sex–solo or partnered–better for almost everyone, it is lube. If you experience pain or discomfort during or after using toys, adding lubricant could be the answer. This is particularly important for insertable toys, as using them without adequate lubrication can cause painful and dangerous tearing. 

A gentle water-based lubricant is a great all-purpose choice. Choose a product without parabens, glycerin, petrochemicals, alcohol, or numbing agents such as benzocaine. Water-based lube can be used with all kinds of sex toys. 

Silicone-based lube is another good choice, as it is long-lasting and ultra-slippery. However, never use silicone lube with silicone toys, as it can damage them. 

Some people like oil-based lubes for their super slick feel, but they can be an infection risk if used internally. Oil-based products can also degrade latex barriers such as condoms, making them more prone to breaking. 

Mistake #4: Sharing Toys Without Taking Precautions

Did you know that it is possible to transmit STIs through sharing sex toys? Even if you and your partner are STI-free, toy sharing needs to be approached cautiously as it can increase your risk of BV, yeast infections, and UTIs.

We’re not telling you not to share toys, of course. Using toys with your partner can be a wonderful, hot and intimate experience. But it is important to understand the risks and how you can mitigate them. 

The best way to protect yourselves is to sterilize your toys completely between users (here’s a guide on how to do that.) A simple wash may not be enough to kill everything that could linger on a toy after use. If you want to share a toy without stopping to sterilize it, put a condom on it. 

If you are non-monogamous, don’t assume that your partners all feel the same way about toy sharing. Some people are fine with it, while others prefer that their toys are only used on them. Discuss it with each partner to determine everyone’s comfort level.

Mistake #5: Falling for Hype

Some sex toys are the subject of tremendous hype thanks to overzealous marketing efforts and dedicated fans. But even the most popular sex toys–the rose vibrator that inspired a TikTok craze, the rabbit made famous by Sex & the City back in the 1990s, or even Hitachi’s so-called “Cadillac of vibrators”–won’t work for everyone. 

Instead of choosing the bestselling or most hyped toy, tune into your preferences. What type of stimulation normally works for you? Which erogenous zones do you most want to explore? What type of look, feel, size, or intensity speaks to you? When you shop sex toys online or visit your local adult boutique, what draws your eye? 

Our sex toy preferences are as beautifully unique as our bodies. The only person who can determine the best toy for you is… you!